What love is not



"LOVE" a mere four-letter word, yet it's the basis of everything around us. I am not sure if there exists a concrete definition of love. Everybody has got their own meaning of love. But one thing that stays common across is that love is a basic necessity in human life. It's the thread that connects us to our surroundings. It's the energy behind our actions. Love is life.

Love comes in many forms. Parental love, platonic love, teenage love, romantic love, spiritual love and self love. As we experience all these variations of love through our life journey, we have an idea about some of  the characteristics of love. Trust, affection, respect, understanding, acceptance, growth are some of them. But before we know what is true love, let's understand what it is not. What are some of the common myths around love?



LOVE is not blind:

This is the phrase we all have heard "love is blind". But let me tell you, true love is not blind, infatuation is. True love sees beyond a person's weaknesses. It accepts someone with all their goodness and flaws. Infatuation focuses on the brighter and perfect aspects of everything. So, when reality hits, the affection fades out whereas real love fights against all odds to overcome the challenges in relationships.

LOVE does not guarantee a happy ending:

Love is not like typical romantic movies, where at the end two people live together happily forever. Of course, there are exceptions in real life too. Some people are lucky to live a happy life with their loved ones. But every love story does not end in a relationship or have a happy ending to it. That does not mean, their love is not real. Sometimes, true love means letting the other person go in their own path for their betterment. 

LOVE is not about fulfilling expectations:

The primary reason, why relationships fall apart is due to expectations. To say that, we don't expect anything out of a relationship would be a white lie. But what we must understand is, this should not be the foundation of our love. Otherwise it will crumble when our expectations are not met. "You do this for me, and I do this for you " strategy is not going to last for long. When we do something for the person we love, it must be out of pure love. If we keep on sacrificing with the intention of getting something in return, that is going to cause us pain at the end. True love is not about self sacrifice. So, stay true to your intentions and handle your expectations accordingly.

LOVE can't be forced:

Love is a feeling that develops naturally. You can't force someone to reciprocate the same emotions as you have for him or her. There is a famous quote saying, "If you truly love someone set them free. If they return your love is true. Else it was never yours". You don't have to beg for love. If a person truly loves you, they will make their best efforts to be part of your life. Love is mutual understanding between two people who wants to grow together and be each other's support in good and bad.

Love is not easy:

People mostly associate love with romance. Candlelight dinners, date nights, walks along the beach are all considered to be basis of the love life. But real love is not this easy. If it's easy then its not love. It takes a lot of work to keep a relationship going. You go through misunderstandings, you fight, you cry and sometime give up. But the beauty lies in solving all these problems together in the journey of life. 

Love is not enough:

Even if love plays a crucial role in a relationship, sometimes that's not enough. There are other things that are needed to keep the relationship strong. You need to express your feelings in actual words. Silent love often gets unnoticed. That's the reason communication is an integral part of a relationship. Acceptance is another thing. It's really important to accept the person and their thought process wholeheartedly. You also need respect, trust and commitment in a relationship. There is no point of love, if you don't respect a person. In a nutshell, love might be the starting point of a relationship, but you need other things to make it a beautiful one.


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