Constructive criticism is a key component for success

I am sure we all had that moment, when we put our best efforts in something and in return got an unexpected response. To give few examples, you worked whole weekend for a presentation and on Monday morning a co-worker just did not like some of the content or you spent an entire day in the kitchen cooking that perfect dinner, setting up the table and in the evening a family member  says the dessert is too sweet or curry is not well done.

Now, in the above situations there can be 3 outcomes

•           You choose to be silent and ignore the conversation. Even though your mind is getting bloated  with anger. 
•           You reciprocate with your defensive strategy in an intention to prove yourself correct. 
•           You start a healthy conversation around the feedback and seek for exact details. 

Majority of the people will fall into the first two category. Because as humans we all love being appreciated for our work, be it at home or workplace. So, our instant reaction to anything that points to our flaws is not positive. We often absorb the negative side of the criticism and forget to look at the other side of it. 

The first option, where we chose to remain silent and cut off the conversation, actually closes down the path of further discussion. So we might miss an opportunity to get some real feedback.

With second option, we might pick up a fight or an argument to prove ourselves correct, but that might lead to the other person, never being interested to share his opinion with us in future. 

A very few percentages of people know how to handle criticism wisely who falls into the third category.

Now imagine for a moment, for any work you do at home, workplace or school if all we receive is a one liner saying “its good” or “you are doing fine” , how will we further improve on it. Getting the right feedback shows us the way to go to the next level and being better version of ourselves. There are people around us who wants us to succeed in whatever we are trying. They know that we are not going to like their comment and probably get hurt. But at the same time, they want us to learn and grow and be perfect in whatever we are doing. We should be thankful to such individuals as they have taken their precious time to analyze our work and provide valuable suggestions.

Now how we differentiate between hate and constructive feedback.  Here are few ways to identify negative criticism

•        The comment or feedback is about the person and not the work.
•          When a person only sees negative in you without emphasizing the positive side.
•           Frequently targeting the same individual.

We are the best judge of ourselves. So instead of reacting instantly to a situation, first analyze the critics tone.

• Does it sound positive?
• Do you believe in what the person is saying?
• Do you see there is area of improvement in what you have done?

If the answers are yes, then probably we should accept the feedback in a positive way. Seek for further details and work on the areas. This will help us in our individual growth and also will strengthen our relationships.